Interview with Austan

I have a special treat for you today. I’ve managed to snag a live interview with Austan Sandoval, an ex-NCS officer who has experience with Central American drug cartels, computer hacking, and also has amazing soccer skills. He’s the guy most women have a secret crush on, so wish me luck. Ahhh! He’s here.

Thank you so much for allowing me to interview you, Mr. Sandoval. This is a big deal for me.

Austan: The pleasure’s all mine, Mrs. Stastny…and call me Austan. Mr. Sandoval was my father. May I call you Char?

Sure. My friends call me that.

Austan: I definitely would like to be your friend…maybe even more, babe.

They warned me you were a big flirt. I’m very happily married. This interview is just to get to know more about you.

Austan: Well, Char, in my line of work, the less people know about me…the better.

Don’t worry. These questions are mostly silly, except I do really want to know more about your work. It sounds exciting!

Austan: Well, I’d love to tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. [Busts out laughing] I’m just kidding Char. But knowledge is power. I don’t give it away for free. Do you have any juicy tidbits you’d like to share? Maybe we could work out a trade.

Well, the best fries and burger in Boise can be found at Boise Fry Company. It’s a juicy burger…if you know what I mean.

Austan:  Ha ha! Good one. I guess I’ll answer your questions for that. 

Okay. First…if you were on death row, what would you order for your last meal?

Austan: Something expensive to put the prison in debt. Lobster, sashimi, caviar, some pure wasabi to spice things up, and some rare form of mushroom. I’d wash it all down with a Scotch whiskey straight and die a happy man.

What’s your greatest fear?

Austan: Running out of Scotch.

Very funny.

Austan: You think I’m joking?

Um…I guess not. Moving on. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you change?

Austan: I’ve already done it…that’s why I have this pretty face. I’d like to keep from going under the scalpel ever again. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

They did do a good job on you. [Oh crap-crap! Did I just say that out loud? He’s going to think I’m a stalker or something.] Ummm…next question–If you could live anywhere, where would you live?

Austan: Somewhere very remote and private.

Cat person or dog person?

Austan: I hate all animals.

Where are you from?

Austan: I was born in East L.A. The hood.

Do you have any pet peeves?

Austan: Naive stupid people and bland food. I like my chow hot—not in temp, but in chemical makeup.

Sleep in or get up early?

Austan: Getting up early is a sin. I don’t like to get out of bed before ten.

What’s your favorite color?

Austan: Guys don’t have a favorite color

Oh. Okay. What’s your favorite book?

Austan: I don’t read books, unless it’s a programming manual. Those come in handy at times when I run into something tricky. But that doesn’t happen very often.

How do you relax?

Austan: Play soccer; go to a club and pick up someone easy

Are you trying to make me laugh or blush? Be serious.

Austan: I’m being very serious.

Ohhhh….kay. Do you have any favorite music groups?

Austan: Anything hard with a fast beat. I don’t like sissy stuff.

What candy bar would be your motto for life?

Austan: What kind of fool question is that?

I’m sorry, we can skip that one.

Austan: [laughs] I’m just joking. How about a stupid Pixie stick? Not because I’m a sissified pixie, but because you have to suck the sugar out of those fool straws, and that’s pretty much how life is—it sucks big time.

But the contents are sweet.

Austan: Not as much as you’d like to think, Char. Have you had to hide out and take on a new identity for years?

Point taken. You can keep the Pixie stick theme. Ummmm….Lightsaber or wand?

Austan: [laughs again–he has a nice laugh] These questions are great! I’d choose a lightsaber. I like hands-on when dealing out punishment. A wand wouldn’t bring me near the satisfaction as cutting off an arm with a lightsaber would.

I notice you have a coin you’re always flipping. Care to tell me about it?

Austan: This is my lucky coin. It helps me make tough decisions.

Awesome. I should try that. Before you go, would you mind telling me what cologne you use?

Austan: That’s my secret, baby. Some things lose their allure in the knowing.

How about you flip your coin. Heads, you tell me.

Austan: You’re on.

Dang! Tails. You win.

Austan: [winks] Since you were such a sweetheart and gave up the juiciest burger joint in Idaho, I’ll tell ya. It’s Gucci Guilty Intense.

Wow! I like it. Thanks for letting me interview you.

Austan: No problem. Kirk out!

Well everyone, that’s Austan. He’s quite a character. I’ll leave you to sigh and daydream about him for the rest of the day…or you can download Eyes of Light for only 99 cents and read more about him. He’s one of the most troubled, charming characters you’ll ever find.

And THIS is the month! Hands of Mercy, the conclusion to the Bending Willow Trilogy, will be released January 26th and covers will be updated on the other books. If you can’t tell, I’m just a wee bit excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!