How to Unsell yourself–Part 3

We end our informative series on Unselling yourself today. Wah! Grab the tissues. I know you’re sad and would love to see another 10 of these lessons…but I can only take you so far. The rest is up to you. So sniff back those tears and let’s make these 3 lessons so firm in your mind that you don’t inadvertently get famous.

To review. The first two steps in Unselling yourself are:

1) Don’t tell your mom about your successes or talents.

She will brag about you and put your name on a neon sign in Vegas for all to see. You don’t want that. Stay away from those greatest of all salesmen—Moms! They are dangerous when it comes to unselling yourself.

2) Don’t enter contests or do anything to bring your name into the limelight.

These can be tricky ways to bring you fame and fortune, and we don’t want none of that. No siree!

And now…drumroll, please…we come to the final item–the clincher. Moms exist. Contests and other venues to showcase our work arise daily. So even if you try your hardest to unsell yourself, sometimes it will happen that your book, name, whatever will grab unwanted attention and you will have to use this last technique to UNSELL yourself. It is this:

3) Use social media to undo damage from others (Moms, usually).

Sometimes your mom will sell you without your consent and put you in a real pickle. Your books might start selling because of her word of mouth, door-to-door selling skills, or she might tell your boss how amazing you are and he might want to promote you (Agh!).

When these sad circumstances arise (and they can happen to the best of us), don’t lose hope. You can turn things around and unsell yourself through Social media. A quick note on Facebook or Twitter can be written to undo damage…something like this:

Hey, I accidentally uploaded a book onto Amazon…but don’t buy it. Please! I’m begging you. It’s only a page long. It’s well-written and totally took me days to write…but still don’t buy it. As a friend, I’m pleading with you to listen to me. Thanks.

[That might have been too long for Twitter…and it didn’t have all the messy # signs either. Pretend that was short and had ###SMILEY### all woven into the text]

Social media can sometimes backfire on you though. This happens when gullible Joes read your status and think you’re using Reverse Psychology on them. So they go buy your book and get super mad when it ends after only a page…but hey, you warned them. They won’t be able to take you to court because you’ll have a nice #Twitter# history of all your unselling, and no judge on earth will convict you of trying to do false advertising.

Another trick you can use to unsell yourself on Social media is by boring all your blog readers with information about your book each day. You can tell them tedious statistics about how many words you wrote in an hour and use acronyms/terms that only writers recognize–like WIP, beta-reader, adverbs, POV, query, agents. They’ll soon leave you when they can’t figure out your lingo.

Now, take heart and heed these lessons well. You can unsell yourself if you think you can’t! Now don’t go! You can lose! Don’t succeed. Break your leg…for real. All these things will help you stay mediocre. Anyone can succeed; look at all the success stories out there. But you can be different…if you want. Be the Ugly Duckling. You know that you’re truly a Swan inside…but don’t you dare let anyone else know. Quack!!!!


24 thoughts on “How to Unsell yourself–Part 3

  1. Haha, very sound advice! Especially the part about boring Facebook fans with boring daily posts. Anna Quindlen is a great example on how to use Facebook properly. I love the stuff she posts to keep her name out there, it’s always good stuff.

  2. QUACK!

    Love the reverse psychology bit. I’m always that person who starts wondering about the reverse reverse reverse Reverse stuff.

    Cute series Char, well done!

    • Yes, the Princess Bride scene where Vizzini does the reverse, reverse, reverse thing to Westley cracks me up. He’s so smart (or SMRT, as Homer Simpson would say). You always get burned when you try to be TOO smart.

  3. The Mom bit made me laugh! I always hesitate to tell my mother about anything I’ve done on the acting or writing front because she always makes a huge deal about it, and gets all excited saying things like “Do you want to tell the rest of the family or shall I? Should we do a general email to everybody? Or should we just wait till we’re all together in a couple of weeks and announce it there? When will it be finished? When can I get a copy? Can you get lots of copies so that we can pass them out? Will it be online? Will there be a link I can pass to people? etc etc”. Maybe not ALL of those questions each time, but that’s how it feels anyway!

    • Awesome! You have the ultimate Sales Mom that I was writing about…all the others rolled into one Mega Saler. You are bound to be successful. I’m sorry. Hee hee.

  4. I need to go back and read part one and part two of how to unsell yourself. My father would be the closest thing I have to your mother. I Love your mother she sounds very helpful.

  5. Oh dear, I’m getting confused with all the reversing. It’s like that saying ‘let’s do a 360 and get out of here’. 🙂

    You know some people have the unknack for marketing without being unintrusive. See what you’re doing to me? 🙂

  6. LOL – I love this. You must know my mother – if she wasn’t related to me I would charge her with stalking. She even tries to sell my unfinished manuscripts to complete strangers! ARGH!

    I laughed a lot while reading this! Well done 😀

    • You got to love Mothers for their loyalty and devotion to their kids. They truly believe in them…and that’s pretty nice (But it will lead to success, which is their aim).

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