We end our informative series on Unselling yourself today. Wah! Grab the tissues. I know you’re sad and would love to see another 10 of these lessons…but I can only take you so far. The rest is up to you. So sniff back those tears and let’s make these 3 lessons so firm in your mind that you don’t inadvertently get famous.
To review. The first two steps in Unselling yourself are:
1) Don’t tell your mom about your successes or talents.
She will brag about you and put your name on a neon sign in Vegas for all to see. You don’t want that. Stay away from those greatest of all salesmen—Moms! They are dangerous when it comes to unselling yourself.
2) Don’t enter contests or do anything to bring your name into the limelight.
These can be tricky ways to bring you fame and fortune, and we don’t want none of that. No siree!
And now…drumroll, please…we come to the final item–the clincher. Moms exist. Contests and other venues to showcase our work arise daily. So even if you try your hardest to unsell yourself, sometimes it will happen that your book, name, whatever will grab unwanted attention and you will have to use this last technique to UNSELL yourself. It is this:
3) Use social media to undo damage from others (Moms, usually).
Sometimes your mom will sell you without your consent and put you in a real pickle. Your books might start selling because of her word of mouth, door-to-door selling skills, or she might tell your boss how amazing you are and he might want to promote you (Agh!).
When these sad circumstances arise (and they can happen to the best of us), don’t lose hope. You can turn things around and unsell yourself through Social media. A quick note on Facebook or Twitter can be written to undo damage…something like this:
Hey, I accidentally uploaded a book onto Amazon…but don’t buy it. Please! I’m begging you. It’s only a page long. It’s well-written and totally took me days to write…but still don’t buy it. As a friend, I’m pleading with you to listen to me. Thanks.
[That might have been too long for Twitter…and it didn’t have all the messy # signs either. Pretend that was short and had ###SMILEY### all woven into the text]
Social media can sometimes backfire on you though. This happens when gullible Joes read your status and think you’re using Reverse Psychology on them. So they go buy your book and get super mad when it ends after only a page…but hey, you warned them. They won’t be able to take you to court because you’ll have a nice #Twitter# history of all your unselling, and no judge on earth will convict you of trying to do false advertising.
Another trick you can use to unsell yourself on Social media is by boring all your blog readers with information about your book each day. You can tell them tedious statistics about how many words you wrote in an hour and use acronyms/terms that only writers recognize–like WIP, beta-reader, adverbs, POV, query, agents. They’ll soon leave you when they can’t figure out your lingo.
Now, take heart and heed these lessons well. You can unsell yourself if you think you can’t! Now don’t go! You can lose! Don’t succeed. Break your leg…for real. All these things will help you stay mediocre. Anyone can succeed; look at all the success stories out there. But you can be different…if you want. Be the Ugly Duckling. You know that you’re truly a Swan inside…but don’t you dare let anyone else know. Quack!!!!