I love the day and age I live in. Sometimes I read a story set in the past and think, “Ahh, that would be so nice and simple to have lived back then.” But then I think a little deeper, and get scared and change my mind.
“No! Don’t let an EMP go off and take all my electricity away! I like electricity and all the fancy gadgets that utilize its invisible force.”
Today I’m going to post a DAY IN THE LIFE OF LILLY MAE from way back when. It should help you appreciate a little more what you have in our modern world. Take it away, Lilly Mae.
Drat! That stupid rooster’s crowing again! I swear he’s getting earlier and earlier. I don’t see a speck of sun yet. [LM rolls over and pokes her husband, who’s sleeping the sleep of the dead] Honey! Get up and go kill the rooster. I want to make rooster & dumplings for noon meal.
[LM has milked her cow and made butter…forget brushing her teeth. Who really cares when she has to wake up at 4am because of that darn rooster?] Wow! I’m exhausted and the sun’s not even up. And look at my belly—these 8 kids I’ve had have wreaked havoc on my girly figure. Ah, that I had a way to exercise it off…but alas, there’s not even such a word as exercise yet. Yea! That’s great! And Honey likes his woman big, rather than scrawny! That means I’ll be able to bear him lots of children and work the plow when he has to run to town to get more supplies. Honey likes that I can arm wrestle him to the ground and can yank the mule out of the ditch when it gets a little tipsy from eating the funny grass.
Here, honey. I made you biscuits and gravy over the fire and squeezed you some milk from the cow. It’s still warm. I would have made you oatmeal, but I didn’t have time. I hope someday someone invents little packets of oatmeal that can be cooked in one minute in a magical box with burning rays. That would be great. But silly me. I’m dreaming goofy. Did you kill that rooster yet?
Time to start dinner. Where’s that stupid rooster? It will take several hours to cook. Sigh.
Water’s boiling. I hate my life. I wonder if Honey has killed the rooster yet. That would make me happy.
I’m tired. I want to go back to bed. Maybe I’ll sneak up there for a little while. Baby, watch the fire while Mama goes…er…cleans her room.
Drat! There goes that rooster again! I swear I’m gonna kill him myself! What’s Honey doing out there? I told him to kill that obnoxious sleep deprived manic rooster hours ago! Well, if he’s not going to do it, I will! That’s why I’m big and strong and built like an ox! I can behead a dang rooster, or my name’s not Lilly Mae!
I’m tired of thinking of Lilly Mae’s life. And I swear I just heard a rooster. Back to the real world of marvelous marvels–like oatmeal packets and boxes with burning rays. I’m glad I have an alarm clock and not a rooster. I can’t imagine how cranky I’d be if a rooster woke me up each morning and I had that cackling crow echoing through my brain all day. Music is much nicer. Goodbye Lilly Mae! I must leave your world of psychotic roosters and open fires in houses. Ginger might catch her tail on fire.
P.S. What did you accomplish by 10am today?