Honey…kill the rooster!

I love the day and age I live in.  Sometimes I read a story set in the past and think, “Ahh, that would be so nice and simple to have lived back then.”  But then I think a little deeper, and get scared and change my mind.

“No!  Don’t let an EMP go off and take all my electricity away!  I like electricity and all the fancy gadgets that utilize its invisible force.”  

Today I’m going to post a DAY IN THE LIFE OF LILLY MAE from way back when. It should help you appreciate a little more what you have in our modern world. Take it away, Lilly Mae.



Drat!  That stupid rooster’s crowing again!  I swear he’s getting earlier and earlier.  I don’t see a speck of sun yet.  [LM rolls over and pokes her husband, who’s sleeping the sleep of the dead]  Honey!  Get up and go kill the rooster.  I want to make rooster & dumplings for noon meal.


[LM has milked her cow and made butter…forget brushing her teeth.  Who really cares when she has to wake up at 4am because of that darn rooster?]  Wow!  I’m exhausted and the sun’s not even up.  And look at my belly—these 8 kids I’ve had have wreaked havoc on my girly figure.  Ah, that I had a way to exercise it off…but alas, there’s not even such a word as exercise yet.  Yea!  That’s great!  And Honey likes his woman big, rather than scrawny!  That means I’ll be able to bear him lots of children and work the plow when he has to run to town to get more supplies.  Honey likes that I can arm wrestle him to the ground and can yank the mule out of the ditch when it gets a little tipsy from eating the funny grass.


Here, honey. I made you biscuits and gravy over the fire and squeezed you some milk from the cow.  It’s still warm.  I would have made you oatmeal, but I didn’t have time.  I hope someday someone invents little packets of oatmeal that can be cooked in one minute in a magical box with burning rays.  That would be great.  But silly me.  I’m dreaming goofy.  Did you kill that rooster yet?


Time to start dinner.  Where’s that stupid rooster? It will take several hours to cook.  Sigh.


Water’s boiling. I hate my life.  I wonder if Honey has killed the rooster yet.  That would make me happy.


I’m tired.  I want to go back to bed.  Maybe I’ll sneak up there for a little while.  Baby, watch the fire while Mama goes…er…cleans her room.


Drat!  There goes that rooster again!  I swear I’m gonna kill him myself!  What’s Honey doing out there?  I told him to kill that obnoxious sleep deprived manic rooster hours ago!  Well, if he’s not going to do it, I will!  That’s why I’m big and strong and built like an ox!  I can behead a dang rooster, or my name’s not Lilly Mae!


I’m tired of thinking of Lilly Mae’s life. And I swear I just heard a rooster. Back to the real world of marvelous marvels–like oatmeal packets and boxes with burning rays. I’m glad I have an alarm clock and not a rooster.  I can’t imagine how cranky I’d be if a rooster woke me up each morning and I had that cackling crow echoing through my brain all day. Music is much nicer. Goodbye Lilly Mae!  I must leave your world of psychotic roosters and open fires in houses.  Ginger might catch her tail on fire.


P.S. What did you accomplish by 10am today?

31 thoughts on “Honey…kill the rooster!

  1. What did I accomplish by 10am today you ask? Let’s see…

    Woke up at 6.30am, prepared packed lunches for kids to take to school and for me to take to work, woke up kids and fed them breakfast, got their school clothes out, helped daughter with last minute homework, sorted football kit out for son, fed cats, folded and put away some laundry, got myself dressed and made up for work, saw kids off to school, drove for 40 mins through fog to get to work, got to work, drank coffee and caught up with work emails, had a little catch-up with the boss. That’s about it before 10. Oh, and I killed a rooster for dinner.

    Pah, Lilly Mae has it easy!

  2. “squeezed you some milk from the cow.” That was a good one.
    We raised chickens for several years and that darn rooster was as big of a nuisance as you describe! It was certainly a fine day when my “honey” killed the rooster! I did not cook him. Roosters are tough! 😉

      • I’ve been pecked by a rooster and yes…I HAVE gone after one! haha. You can’t just let them peck at you without repercussions!

  3. Hubby and I always talk about life 100+ years ago during our travels. As we sit in the climate controlled, leather interior, turbo powered Ford we discuss the challenges of crossing the mountains in a covered wagon….I’ll keep my luxuries, thank you!

  4. My how times have changed. My accomplishments before 10 am were working out, driving my kids to school (not via horse and buggy but via Prius), reading the paper, posting a contest on my new FB page, and putting up a blog post. No roosters necessary.

    Thank you for helping me remember to be grateful for every convenience I have! And so glad I didn’t have to birth 17 children like my great-grandmother.

    • Your great-grandma rocked! Wow! And you have Facebook now. Yea! I will have to go find you when I get through my long list of emails I’ve come home to. I definitely feel like we DO a lot before 10am in the modern world…thankfully it doesn’t involve open fires in the kitchen and roosters though.

        • I believe it’s on the side of my blog next time you’re around. I usually post and forget to look at my blog since I’m so used to it. I’m not very good at posting at it yet (which can be a plus–people who post several times a day eventually get hidden by me). I watch other authors to see how they use theirs…and then I don’t do the good things I see them do because I’m too lazy and self-conscious about posting. Oh my! I thought I’d overcome my shyness years ago…but I guess not. Like you said in your post, writing a book makes you feel naked in front of everyone. Yikes!

  5. Aaahh – the good old days. I do like to time travel through books, but I’m not so sure I’d want to stay there in a time or place with no indoor plumbing. We happen to live near a rooster that crows at all hours starting around midnight and that’s bad enough.

    • I remember the rooster on Kauai when we were there…and they really did never shut up. Indoor plumbing is a gem! Our ancestors must stare down at us in envy for that one thing alone (or they could be like my Great Grandma when her husband first built indoor plumbing in her home–the first in town. She refused to use it, thinking that was vile to relieve your wastes indoors. For the rest of her life, she walked out to the outhouse to do it properly.)

  6. Yay for oatmeal packets! Oatmeal actually comes in these little cups now so all you have to do is add water then zap it. Life’s small pleasures!

    There was a Woody Allen movie recently, “Midnight in Paris” that rather grew on me. It centered on the themes of nostalgia and modernism, and how basically we’re always wishing we could go backward (or even forward). It’s so nice to just appreciate the now. Perhaps over a microwaved Cup ‘O Oatmeal.

    • Yes, it’s nice to enjoy what we have…instead of wishing for what we don’t have. I’m reading a book by a woman who was in a plane crash and had 80% of her body burned. That lady is inspiring! She learned what was really important…but what hard lessons.

  7. Oh, yes, roosters. I think I can still hear the ones that woke me up every morning in Honduras and Mexico. 😉

    Hmm, by 10 this morning I had seen my husband off to work, done 75 minutes of aerobics and light weights, showered, dressed, started the laundry, and put in the first half-hour on the part-time day job. I’ll take that over Lilly Mae’s day, any day! 🙂

    I think her husband was in the barn, sneaking in a few extra hours of sleep!

    • Amen to that! When I was in Israel, the chicken they served us was hand plucked and I got to where I didn’t like chicken because of the hard bristles still in it as I took bites. Ick! But I didn’t want to complain, because that would have been mean after the kitchen staff had worked so hard to pluck all day.

  8. Well, I don’t have roosters very close by (but I know where they live) so they’re not very loud. But honestly, I have a cat and he’s WAY louder than any rooster. And he meows 24 hours a day, including the whole night. Yeah, I’d love to twist his neck sometime. Although he’s very plump, I don’t think I’d eat him for dinner. But I sometimes threaten to feed him to the coyotes. They’d have enough for a couple of meals!

    On a side note, my grandparents lived in the countryside and I remembered getting live chickens and rabbits from the neighbors. My grandfather would then twist their neck and pluck or peal them off. I thought it was cool at the time but today I rarely eat meat and there’s no way I’d like to see someone do it in front of me again!

    • That does it! I am NOT getting a cat (not that I would have anyway since I can’t breathe around them, but the noise factor is definitely a big factor too). Cats got taken by coyotes all the time in my neighborhood in Nevada. And when I’d go running in the morning with Ginger, I’d always see a stray coyote heading off into the desert. They’re quite scrawny and mangy. Your cat is probably too smart to be taken by those Wiley Coyotes.

      • Oh, my cat would be eaten in a couple of hours! He’s too old and too fat to figure out how to save his life… Not all cats are vocal but this one always have been and since my other cat died, he just can’t shut up.

        As for coyotes, I see them walk around here all the time, as if they owned the place. On the street, on the walking paths. And they howl at night and yap in the morning. And I swear I live right in the center of my town, not in the boonies!

  9. I would definitely do something about that rooster if it woke me that early! 🙂 Your post reminded me of Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck. Life was tough back then.

    Several years ago, we lived in a rural area surrounded by sheep farms. Although we had electricity, we were too far away from the nearest city to have town water. We relied on water from an underground rainwater tank. Whenever a storm caused a blackout, the electric pump for the water tank didn’t work. It’s amazing how thirsty you get when you don’t have access to water.

    • You should write a book about it! Sounds tough. I have always been grateful that I don’t have to walk a half mile to a well or river to get water. I quite like my handy sink and tap.

  10. Do you really need me to answer this question? 😉 I feel like I have accomplished my whole day’s tasks by 10am, but for some reason there’s always more to do!

    I don’t have a rooster, but I have an alarm that quacks like a duck.

    • Oh my! A quacking alarm clock. I got to get one of those. I’d wake up laughing every morning. And yes, with a name like 4am, you can pass on the question. We know you’ve been up for a while by 10.

  11. Up at 6.30am, get myself together, get breakfast for kid, get kid up & at the table, make sure kid is dressed and brushed his teeth before sending him packing to school. Make a shopping list. Check the emails. Off to the shops. 10am… still at the shops, quite a few things to buy & i walk to the shops… about 20 mins each way…
    It’s a good life compared to LM… i think about living that simple life too but i’m a coward & like to have my luxuries… but we do a farmstay once a year, to get back to nature 😉

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