My life’s not going to the dogs

My dog, Ginger, is the smartest, sweetest, saintly dog alive!  She’s also the stupidest!

Whenever we start to believe she’s a brainiac because she picks up on when we change shoes (which means it’s walk time), or when she perks her ears up and stands and starts stretching when someone happens to say the word WALK, or knows it’s time to go get the mail because my husband leaves his office and walks to the front door at 3 pm, we usually can be relieved of our fear that she’s going to take over the earth like the monkeys did on Planet of the Apes by just pulling out a simple flashlight.

My son loves this game and could play it for hours (I think he actually has).

If your dog is worrying you that they’re just TOO smart, maybe you can play this game with your canine friend and  put your mind to rest.  Here it is:  The Light Game!

Materials needed: 

Flashlight, laser pen, or just your watch and some sunlight

How to play:

–Turn on the flashlight.  (It won’t work if you skip this step.)

–Shine the flashlight against the wall

Then watch your dog crash their nose into the wall trying to eat the bad light thingy

–Shine the flashlight at the floor

Then watch your dog tear at your carpet as they try to annihilate the bad light thingy (if you have shag or berber carpet, this could be bad; use dicretion; I would highly recommend not doing it on wood floors—your husband might get angry when it gets scratched like mine.  BAD GINGER!)

–Shine the flashlight at a brother or sister

Then watch your dog tear into them as they try to save their person from the alien bad light thingy that is trying to possess a member of their family (again, use discretion; if your dog has claws or sharp teeth this could have bad consequences.  Those bad light thingies really drive dogs nuts)

–[Do the following really fast]  Shine the flashlight at the wall—up at the ceiling—at another wall—at the floor, at the table

Then watch your dog dance and smoosh their snout into all those things—except the ceiling

Laugh your heads off as you realize your dog really is stupid and has the brain the size of a pea.

Yea!  Dogs aren’t going to take over the earth this year.  Not that there’s anything wrong with dogs taking over the earth (especially one as kind and good as Ginger), but can you imagine what life would be like with THAT GOOF in charge.  I know I can sleep better knowing life’s not going to the dogs.


19 thoughts on “My life’s not going to the dogs

  1. Oh, I’m going to tell on you–to PETA. Right after I get done laughing. Cats also show their limited intelligence with games like these, even though they try to pretend otherwise as they lick their paws nonchalantly in between bouts of running for the light. We don’t have a cat, but my mother does, and my son finds this an endless source of entertainment.

    Funny post! In fact, I won’t tell on you after all. 😉

    • Thanks for not telling. I already had some Husky Mush Protester send me a long email about the abuse of sled dogs and how wrong it is when I did a post earlier in the year about Ginger wishing she was a sled dog. It was hard not to laugh. My dog’s a golden retriever, and I didn’t have any misleading pictures to show otherwise. But this lady harped me up a storm. I wanted to write back and say, “Don’t worry. Even though Ginger wants to be Balto the sled dog more than anything else, I love her too much to abuse her like that and take her to the far north pole and whip her into a lather in the snow.” Have these people never heard of HUMOR? Geesh.

      • I can’t believe you received an email about that! It was clearly a humorous piece (I remember reading it). Oh my, now that is taking life way too seriously. Even Ginger would strenuously defend you on that one!

    • The goofiest. Makes me laugh so hard, especially when she misses and smashes her nose into the wall. She doesn’t seem to mind though and tries it again and again.

  2. My mom’s cat still enjoys a round of “light tag,” even at 16. And if you ever need to distract a dog’s attention from something, turning on the vacuum cleaner always seems to be a good place to start!

    • Wow! 16 years playing light tag is pretty good. My dog could care less about the vacuum cleaner. She only moves when I start nudging her with it because I want to de-hair her places all over the living room. Maybe she’s deaf? Nope! She hears me whisper the word WALK and goes berzerk.

  3. Did I ever mention I have a dog named Ginger, too? 🙂 She’s not into games such as light tag. No sirree, not our ladylike, poised, I-have-better-things-to-do-than-let-you-try-to-make-a-fool-of-me Ginger. But our cats? Well, that’s another story entirely.

    • Ginger’s such a cute name. What kind of dog is yours? When we got our puppy, we voted on the name. I wanted Winnie the Pooch, but lost. I still think that would have been a darn cute name. But Ginger’s grown on me, and she’s the right color and temperament to fit the name. And if you’ve ever watched the old Black Beauty, where the fire starts in the stable and the boy’s trying to get Black Beauty out of there and he yells, “Not without Ginger!”…we say that all the time to our dog when we go to leave somewhere. “Not without Ginger!”

  4. Lol! funny dog!
    I can imagine how Ginger sweetly jumps, stretches, crawls, runs forward backward sideward, tumbles, spins…and cries because it couldn’t catch the light! 🙂

    I don’t think Ginger is that stupid, maybe the dog is simply displaying a “don’t quit” attitude! 🙂

    Your dog is cute by the way! 🙂

    • She just likes to catch things. I’ve caught her jerking her jowls around trying to snap at flies and eat them as they fly by. She makes me laugh.

      • She looks like a really sweet dog. We’ve been thinking about getting a new dog our dog passed away a few months ago. We seem to be going back and for looking at the pro’s and con’s and then there’s the puppy pee and the chewing…..I don’t know.

  5. Dear Char,
    I am so glad to have stumbled across your post. I loved this one a lot specifically as I am an acute-dog-lover myself and fortunately a golden-retriever-owner too. His name is Alfey and he is a year old. I can say with a soaring confidence that he must be Ginger’s blood-relation or something close when it comes to habits (but aren’t all golden retrievers summat like that??)
    you might want to catch a glimpse of him here,

    -Asha 🙂

    • Asha, Alfey sounds cute, and yes all Goldens are pretty happy go-lucky dogs. I love how they look so happy with their big smiles. I couldn’t get anywhere with your Facebook link; it said content not available. Thanks for stopping by.

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