Take Your Dog To Work…or not!

Joyinthemoments.comOn the 23rd, is Take Your Dog to Work Day.  Since I work at both a real office and a home office, I decided not to stress my dog out and drive into town.  I introduced her to the workplace in a nice, mellow fashion–at home.

First, in order to make her feel legit, I forced some glasses on Ginger.  I didn’t want her to feel like a dog.  I wanted her to feel like a valuable, contributing member of my office…one I could depend on and turn to for help when the deadline is looming and the phone is ringing.

She grinned and bared it (her teeth, that is).  Ginger didn’t really like dressing up for the job, but I insisted.  I didn’t want her goofing off, and the glasses seemed to make her more sophisticated—not just a dumb blonde.

After Ginger donned the glasses, I went over the 3 B’s with her in my employee handbook:

1.  Behave

2. Be quiet

3.  Be helpful

I explained that she would be my secretary and answer the phone since I was much too busy (heck!  even if I’m just reading a book, I’m too busy to answer the phone; it’s just how life is around here).

The first part of the day (or about 10 minutes) went pretty good.  Ginger did the first B—Behave!  She didn’t fart; she didn’t whine or scratch at my desk, she kept those glasses on and looked studious.

She did the 2nd B—Be quiet.   No barking, heavy panting, or loud farting (even though it’s the silent ones that will kill you).

She tried to do the 3rd B—Be helpful—but wasn’t very successful.  The phone rang, and I said, “Ginger, will you get that?  I’m in the middle of this proposal.”

But she was doing this.

Joyinthemoments.comSigh.  I know it’s her first day on the job and all, but come on!  Stop playing with your glasses and get the dang phone.  I could use a little help!

The phone quit ringing and I stopped harping on Ginger to get it.  They hung up!  I’m okay with that.

But then, it rang again.  I tried to get Ginger to step up and pull her weight in the office.  “Ginger, grab that.  I know it’s not for me, and even if it is, I don’t want to talk right now.”  RING!  RING.  “Come on, girl!  Please!”

Bless her heart!  I think she really wanted to answer it.  She loves new people (being much more social than me), but those dang paws without opposable thumbs make life tough for dogs–even a pretty one like Ginger.  Beauty isn’t everything.  Opposable thumbs…that’s different.  Opposable thumbs will get you everywhere in life!

Joyinthemoments.comSince Ginger wasn’t helpful, I ignored the phone and kept on working.  But things went downhill with the 3rd call.  Again I encouraged Ginger in her secretarial aspirations, but by that time, the glasses were off and Ginger had gravitated outside!

I yelled out:  “Hey!  Didn’t you read the employee handbook?  You don’t get a 10 minute break until you’ve worked 4 hours!”

Ginger ignored me, rolling around and scratching her back and picking up whatever bugs and germs live in the grassy green.  And the phone rang again…and I ignored it…because my secretary wasn’t in at the moment.

Joyinthemoments.comWhen Ginger finally came in, looking a little too casual for my taste, I fired her (in a nice way).  I gave her a severance package of a dog treat and told her to go lay back down in the living room and do what she does best (imitate a RUG).  She seemed relieved…especially when I took the glasses back.

The moral of this story is that on the 23rd—even though it’s a Saturday and most people don’t work—if you do work, I’d skip out on Take your dog to Work Day.  I think whoever made this holiday up is a little whacked!

Here are things they didn’t take into account:

1.  Dogs don’t have opposable thumbs

2.  That makes answering phones very hard; maybe a headset would work, but I didn’t have one.

3.  Glasses annoy dogs.  Maybe if I’d got the kind with elastic that stuck to her head (like an NBA player), it would have worked…but who has those things?

4.  Silent dog farts will clear out an office faster than any fire alarm…or FIRE!

5.  Dogs want more than 2 breaks a day—and they want to roll around and scratch their back right on the office floor; we humans find that kind of distracting—it causes office productivity to decrease.

yellowstone 0126.  For the rare dog who does manage to answer the phone (or has a headset), the customer on the other end is taken aback by the heavy panting and hurries and hangs up.  (I could live with that).

That’s what I learned this week.  Use caution and keep my valuable research in mind if you’re tempted to take your dog to work.  I don’t want you to embarrass yourself.  I’m just nice like that!

Char

28 thoughts on “Take Your Dog To Work…or not!

  1. We are lucky enough to take both our dogs and our cat to work EVERY day – we work from home! 🙂 Our Lab is the same colour as your Ginger. They look the same in the face. 🙂

  2. What a wonderful post. Thanks for some great morning laughs. And Ginger looks very spiffy in her specs whether she likes them or not. Now, please tell me, are you kidding about the Take Your Dog to Work day or is it for real? I assume it’s a joke, but in today’s world, one never knows…

    • Well, I guess that depends on what you think a joke is or not. I typed in Holidays and found a site for weird holidays and Take your Dog to Work Day was on the list. My momma always told me that whatever is in print is true, so I guess it’s true (right? erm? hemhem?)

      • Well, maybe if some of my neighbors took their dogs to work, it would be a little quieter around here, so I guess, I’m all for it. 🙂

        • Yes, I think my neighbor wishes he had taken his dog to work. His behind the fence neighbor turned him in for ‘barking dog,’ and shockingly, that is a misdemeanor in Boise and my neighbor might get sentenced to jail time or community service for his barking dog (which never bothered me–but his other neighbor hates him–you know–Hatfield/McCoy type of thing). Anyway, I’m glad Ginger doesn’t bark.

    • Yes! So true! I might have to force Ginger into this role, and just leave off the glasses so she’ll enjoy it more–to keep telemarketers from calling me.

  3. Poor Ginger, I’ll tell you why she didn’t do any work. Because you paid her peanuts? Are you one of the 1% who tries to take advantage of dogs desperate to get a job but refuses to pay them? The silent farts will teach you, I hope. Maybe a few dog fleas will help too. 😉

    • No, I assure you I didn’t pay her peanuts. Ginger hates peanuts. I paid her with one of her dog bones that she thinks taste like ‘heaven’–and to me look like ‘cardboard.’ But there is nothing better in the world in her mind than those dumb treats–except a walk. Maybe I should have taken her on a good walk too, and then she wouldn’t have been rolling all over the place acting like a freak. Hmmm. Now that I’m thinking about it–maybe those treats are to blame for the farts. I will have to test my theory.

  4. i miss that Ginger girl! She might not be a good secretary but shes pretty dang good at being an amazing dog!

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