Giggly Girls vs. Wild Things

IMG_0028Remember my son’s 11th birthday party where the Wild Things came and partied at my house?  Well, today I thought I’d post about my daughter’s 14th birthday party and make comparisons.

I hadn’t given her a party for several years (this picture is of the last party she had), so she felt she deserved a party for turning 14 (it takes a lot of effort to age).  Even though I was still in shock from what the Wild Things had done to my house, I had to be fair…right?

Being the socialite she is, she whittled her list down to a measly 13.  Dang!  I started sweating…and fear coursed through my veins.  This felt all too familiar.

Again, we were lucky (haha) and EVERYONE showed up. Yep!

Now these were 13-14 year old girls, instead of 10-11 year old boys, but we basically had the same number as my son’s party.  It was interesting to compare the two parties.  It would make a great science experiment…and yea! I’m done with all the imperative data…or is it empiracle…or miracle data?  It’s been a while since I was in a science class.

Let’s just say it’s empire data.  You could create empires from how boys and girls are different.

Because I was still so messed up from my son’s party, I told my daughter that I was playing NO Minute-to-Win-It games.  I didn’t want to have to clean up toilet paper nor scrub spittle skittles off my walls again.  I told her she could only play games that had no props and were preferably quiet.

I put the brunt of the responsibility on her, telling her I really wasn’t a game person and would rather pick lint off the floor.  If she left it up to me, I would come up with games like:  “Who can organize a shelf in the garage the neatest?” or “Who can make the hard water lines in a toilet disappear the fastest?” or my favorite, “Race Mop across the wood floor—leaving no filmy residue or streaks behind you.”

My daughter thought my games sounded lame.  “Why don’t you watch a movie?” I said.

She didn’t think that was as bad as my game ideas.

The night of the party came.  Because of the pizza fiasco last time, I ordered LOTS of pizza this time (it helps that my older daughter works at a pizza place now and got me a 40% discount—thank you Garbonzo’s).  All the girls came, and for the first half hour, they entertained themselves by playing “Get to know you games.”  They giggled and smiled and I wanted to come sit down and play too.

But I’m not very cool.  My daughter told me so.

I cut up veggies and got a dip ready in the kitchen while they played and waited for the pizza to get there.  My husband had graciously volunteered to go get it.  He was absolutely terrified to be in the house with 14 girls.  I let him go AWOL this time since the girls didn’t seem to roar and gnash their teeth and tell me they wanted to eat me, like the Wild Things did.

The pizza arrived, and since the girls were so dang cute, quiet and giggly, I let my husband off the hook and he quickly disappeared to who knows where.  The girls ate pizza and daintily sipped pop as I heard phrases like “Justin Bieber” and “so hot” passed around the table.  When they finished eating, which took a whole 30 minutes, there were 2 pizzas left.  Amazing!

They wanted to play mafia, which is played with a few Uno cards and a little imagination!  They were enthralled with that game…and the good thing was, there were no spittle skittles dripping down the wall afterward!

Girls rule and boys drool! I thought, smiling to myself and wondering why I hadn’t given my daughter a party the last three years in a row.  This wasn’t so bad.

P1020468There was tons of giggling and talk about boys, and more giggling.  We opened presents, and my daughter took time to gush over each bag or printed card; she held up nail polish sets and all the girls would gush with her and I was stunned by the difference between boys and girls.  WOW!

We sang happy birthday and it was on-key and in parts.  We had cake and ice cream left over.  My house was clean. The giggles were pleasant.  No one got hurt.  Time passed quickly.  They watched a movie and remarked on which boy was hot and were thrilled just to be together giggling and judging man flesh.

So here are my top 10 reasons I like girl parties better than boy parties:

10. No broken bones or heads.

9. No ruptured eardrums.

8. Bathrooms don’t resemble a swampy cesspool.

7. There is leftover food.

6. Girls are gracious and giggly.

5. You can do more inside things at girl parties without destroying your most expensive asset.

4. P1020469They sing on-key.

3. As a mom, you learn who is hot.

2. It is easier to chaperone; your husband can disappear, and you don’t hate him for it; rather you enjoy the camaraderie and giggliness of the girly atmosphere.  Begone, man!  This is girl’s domain!

And the #1 reason why I like girl parties better than boys……

1. No spittle skittles. (For that alone, a girl party is better than a boy’s)


PS.  Boys don’t really drool…except when they’re in packs.

9 thoughts on “Giggly Girls vs. Wild Things

  1. Haha I can see this as truer already!! Can’t wait for my 3 teenage girls having parties at the same time, I probably won’t see kolby for a YEAR!! 🙂

  2. Pingback: When you get OLD | Joy in the Moments

  3. Haha, why am I not surprised at the results of your experiment? Just look at how men and women party when they get together (same sex only) and the results are the same. Men run out of pizza, chips and beer quickly, after smearing half of them on the floor. Women eat neatly, enjoy the laughs and good company and help clean up afterwards. That’s why you wan the boy/man party at someone else’s house! 😉

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