Why I love my Dog!

yellowstone 012To preface this, I’m not a dog person.  I’m a Ginger person.  Ginger’s my golden retriever, and she’s the most awesome hairy rug I’ve ever had.  These are things I love about her:

1.    I potty trained her in a week.  None of my kids were done that fast!

2.    I can say mean things in a nice voice and she’ll wag her tail and grin at me.

“Ginger, who’s the stinkiest, stupidest, hairiest dog in the world? That’s right! You are! Your breath kills brain cells; your hair clogs vacuums; and you chase red dots from pen lighters. You’re a complete and utter DORK!”

…And she sits at my feet as I berate her and shines that golden grin on me.

3.  She always looks happy.  Goldens are the best at this.  They always look as if they’ve just been told they’re going to Disneyland!  YEA!

4.  She keeps me safe from flashlights.  I can’t tell you how hysterically I have laughed—that “Stop, my stomach is hurting so bad I want to puke!” kind of laughter—when my kids get out a flashlight and shine it all over.  Ginger goes nuts trying to catch that dastardly light.  I’ve toned my abs big time laughing at her doing this.  It’s better than a Jillian workout any day.

5.  She has a 6th sense.   I don’t think she sees dead people…but she KNOWS things.   She knows that when I’m in a dress and heels, there’s no sense in getting up and excited; but if I change into sweats and tennies, she KNOWS what’s up, and will follow me around and start dog stretching her front legs, letting me know she KNOWS it’s time to run.

6.  Ginger’s obedient.   Ever since she was a puppy, upstairs was forbidden to her (I didn’t want to vacuum 10 times a day up there).   Once when my hubby and I were out on a date, my kids—being the disobedient hoodlums they are—decided to have some fun and break all the rules.   They tried to get Ginger upstairs; they lured her with food and called to her, but she was a good dog and refused to be led astray.   Finally they tried to pull her by the collar, but halfway up, she had a conniption fit and went into SLED DOG mode.  She pulled away from them and ran back down those evil stairs.   She is RULE-KEEPER—even if her human siblings are not!  Do you see why I love her so much!

7.  She knows her limits.  We’ve trained Ginger not to beg (I hate begging dogs).  Ginger curls up in the corner as we eat, and as we finish, she walks around and under our table hoping for pieces of fat or bread crusts or whole steaks to jump off the table.   She’s not supposed to put her nose over the table (that’s bad doggy manners).   Once we left in a hurry to get to church and my boy left an unfinished hot dog on the table.   We were gone for hours and when we returned, this is what we found…

…Ginger at the table with her nose under the edge of it, her big brown eyes staring at that hotdog 2 inches from her.   She was trying to use the FORCE to bring it to her (she loves Star Wars).  Really, she’s big enough that she could have easily lifted her head, grabbed the hotdog, and eaten it while we were gone…but she knew the rule.  What an awesome dog!  I gave her the hotdog.

November 2nd 0038.  She’s lazy.  When we go outside to play Frisbee, we usually only get about 4-5 throws that Ginger will catch before she wanders off to lay down and enjoy the cool grass under her belly.  She doesn’t feel the need to pretend she’s a psychotic sheep dog that cares one whit about where that flying pink thingy goes. You’d think she’d be obese…but thankfully, she loves her walks.  Actually, I think she just loves sniffing new smells on her walks—poop, squished runover frog, half-eaten bird, green goose poop–she finds them all!

9.  Her eyebrows captivate me.  As she lays in the corner being lazy, she’ll watch what’s going on, and I know she’s thinking crazy thoughts about us by how her eyebrows twitch.  They go up—“These people are nuts!”  They go sideways—“These people are weird!”   They twist together in puzzlement—“What in the world?”  She has an expression that seems to say, “Huh?” and another that says, “Durrrrrh!”  It’s great.   Bill Waterson would love her eyebrows.

10. She’s low maintenance.   Ginger is happy if I keep her water and food bowl filled intermittently; she’s ecstatic if I give her one of her cheap cardboard dog treats.  I love that she doesn’t need her own froufrou bed, nor does she need doggie clothes or expensive toys from Petco.  She scoffs at $8 bones and is glad I never make her a dentist appointment.  She’s happy with an occasional pat behind her ears and is content to just curl up on the ground beside the couch where I read.  If I give her a walk 3-4 times a week…I’ve given her the world.  That makes me feel pretty good.

I love you, Ginger!

Alpha-Mom

2 thoughts on “Why I love my Dog!

  1. Ahhh Ginger, how sweet!! You know I am NOT a dog person either but this post makes me want a Ginger!! I love that she follows all the rules, even when you aren’t around! Now, to get my KIDS to do that!!!

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