Time to make a bunch of goals you won’t ever follow through on, right? RIGHT!
I’ve decided to have fun with this…and go ALL OUT! So here are my new year’s goals! Read them and weep!
- Clean out my garage (I know this goal will at least get me started in the right direction. I might get one shelf cleaned off before my New Year’s energy fizzles away on Jan. 11th)
- Lose 200 pounds. (Think BIG, right! I will be in the negative digits, but those are REAL numbers according to my past math teachers)
- Run a marathon! (Actually, I’ll be doing good to RUN to the store when we RUN out of milk—in the car—but hey, remember—THINK BIG! If I don’t get to this, maybe my brother can throw on another marathon and run it in my honor.)
- Climb Mt. Everest. (I actually have no desire whatsoever to do this, but I’m THINKING BIG here in case my mind changes and I come into $60,000 loose change to throw away on an eight month hellish ordeal; things will have to get real bad here at home before my mind changes that drastically, but you never know)
- Swim the English Channel. (I once did a mini triathlon and had to swim in a moss infested swamp-muck pond. I tried to have an out of body experience so that I didn’t dwell on all the nasty amoeba and swampmonster organisms that I swallowed every time I gasped and sucked in putrid water when someone’s feet kicked me in the face. I’m hoping with more room in the English channel, there will be less feet kicking my face and the living organisms will not be so concentrated around me)
- Sing like Josh Groban (except I’m a girl). Hmmm? Maybe that’s a stupid goal. I could just listen to more Josh Groban and move my lips and pretend it’s me singing. That’s doable. I actually might accomplish this one.
- Have a photographic memory and remember all the books I read without having to re-read them a couple years later (What’s the fun in that? Like I said before, things will have to get pretty bad for me to do this; I love re-reading books. It gives me security. There is never a time when I run out of books to read. If there’s not a library book waiting for me, then I just go glance on my shelf and think, “Ah, Scarlet Pimpernel. How are you my friend? Long time, no read. What’s it been? Six months? A year?” Gasp. “Let’s change that.”
- Visit the moon. (I’ll really need to stretch myself to do this. After all, I usually don’t go out at night and visit with anybody. I’m not that social. But to accomplish this worthy goal and make 2012 one to remember, I might start putting on a jacket and having a nightly stroll in my back yard and talk to the moon and see how she’s doing. It’s the least I could do for all the beauty she’s provided over the years—and for keeping the werewolves at bay for most of the month. I’m grateful for that)
- Become the first female president of the USA. I’ll start campaigning now! Vote for me. Vote for me, you won’t regret it…except that I don’t have a political cell in my body (hey, that’s a good thing though, right!)
- Win the lottery. (This one’s a stretch. I don’t know for sure, but I think you actually have to enter the lottery to have a chance of winning it. I think that’s how it works…and in that case, I’d have to make an 11th goal to go buy a lottery ticket…and I’m just not into uneven numbers. They scare me. So I guess this one dies before it even got started. Darn! I already had my 3 million dollars spent in my head. I was going to use it on signs that say, “Vote for Char. Hardee Har Har!” Catchy slogan, huh! Dang, without those signs my chances are slim of winning the presidential nomination. Thanks Mitt!)
Wish me luck accomplishing my humongous goals! I actually feel pretty pumped just MAKING them. I wish you luck in all your goals too!